6 Things I Don’t Understand About The Fat Acceptance Movement

Can’t help but agree with these points. Health should be a priority.

Thought Catalog

For the author’s follow-up to this article, click here.
First, a little information about me, because I’m sure the first thing people will do on reading this is make assumptions about who I am: I am an American woman who is recently familiar with the Fat Acceptance movement via blogs and online articles, but who grew up in a slightly pre-internet era where such a thing didn’t really exist. I am a “normal” size, but fluctuate between about a 6 and a 10. I eat well enough, work out two or so days a week and try to walk as much as possible. I am by no means a health nut, but health has always been relatively important to me and my family. I’ve lived outside the country, and seen the way other cultures deal with weight and body, but right now I’m based in the U.S.. I wouldn’t…

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An Open Letter to Emma Watson

This is a very well written letter and I agree with it in its entirety. Bravo.

Men's Psychology

Dear Ms Watson,

I read with interest your formal invitation for men to join the effort for gender equality. I agree that we need full gender equality, and that this is important to men because, as you say, “I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society despite my needing his presence as a child as much as my mother’s. I’ve seen young men suffering from mental illness unable to ask for help for fear it would make them look less ‘macho’ — in fact in the UK suicide is the biggest killer of men between 20-49”.

And I agree with you that gender equality will go unrealized so long as only half of humanity is “invited or feel[s] welcome to participate in the conversation”.

I wish I could accept your invitation as presented, but rather than the sentiment “HeForShe”, I will only…

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A Trip Down Memory Lane: Reflections of My 17-year-old Self

This evening the idea came to me that I should start keeping a diary of all the positive things that happened in my day, every day. A way of keeping up some positive thinking to help with my anxiety, and occasional depressive moods. The thing is, I’ve been keeping a journal for 3 years, but I just keep forgetting to write in it every day. So I dug out my old journal, the last entry having been in April of this year, and after writing my new entry I dared myself to read back over my earliest entries.

One of the entries just blew me away. I wrote it at a time when I was questioning my identity. When I didn’t like who I was, when I wanted to be a different person, because I was unhappy being the person I was. The contradictions in my words seem to reflect the contradicting and confusing thoughts I had in my head at the time, between the person I wanted to be and the person I felt I was. I focused on all the negative thoughts I had yet still forced myself to write about positive things about myself that other people had said to me. These words came from a place I can still relate to when I think back to being my old self, but yet I marvel at how much I have changed, and I am so thankful to be so much happier, so much more confident and self-assured than I was back then. The entry, written on the 28th August 2011 was titled ‘Who I Am and Who I Want To Be’ and I thought I’d share some of it with you:

Who I Am & Who I Want to be

    Someone who cares. About how she makes others feel. How others feel about her. About what others say about her. Someone who wants to be happy, to be loved, liked, to feel needed. To love. I often feel that I simply want to be content, but that isn’t true.

    I want to be acknowledged as someone special, worthy of others’ attention and compassion. I want to make others happy. I want to be helpful. To be appreciated. Not ignored. I want people to be proud of me. Not ashamed. I want to stop feeling like this. Like I don’t belong. I want to feel welcome. I wish I could love myself. But I don’t think I do.

    I am my own worst enemy. It shouldn’t be this way. I feel everyone is against me, when I have no evidence. I am too quick to be defensive. What am I defending? My pride? Do I even have any? I guess I’m just used to being invisible, turned away, cast out. Lonely.

    Maybe I’m the one who created all this for myself. Maybe it’s all in my head. I wish I could get out of my head. It’s like a fortress, vast, negative. I hide away in there. But all it does is make me see the bad things. I know there are good things.

    I want to be protected. But at the same time, I want to be strong enough to protect myself. I don’t feel that I can. I feel weak. Defenseless. Helpless. Pathetic. I allow myself to act on impulses too often. No self control. Why am I so weak?

    I know I am strong-minded. So why do I not allow myself to show it? I don’t allow myself to be me. Not all the time. I am special. I am kind. I am beautiful. I am intelligent. I am worthy of love and affection. I deserve to be happy. I am not happy. Soon I will be.

    I feel I need a boyfriend. A soulmate. I should be more patient. I know there is so much I can give. I just need to put myself out there, not hide away any longer. I need to break out of this cage. Out of my head.

    I’ve been told my smile can light up the room. Why don’t I smile very much? Why do I keep crying? I don’t want to be my own weakness. I want to make myself strong. I can light up the world with my smile. My kindness. I can do anything. But I don’t feel like I can.

    I’m always too quick to give up. Why don’t I keep trying? I feel like a waste of space. What should I be doing? I hope my future’s bright. I hope I can make myself learn to be happy. With who I am.

    I need to trust that I am an amazing person. I need to give everyone a chance to see that. Not everyone – those who are deserving. Someone special. Because I am special. I still feel a long way off. I hope I can make it there.

    We all have struggles in our lives. Mine were pretty normal for a teenage girl, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I felt horrible in those times. Knowing that I have come through the pain, the self-loathing and unhappiness a stronger person who knows herself and what she wants and needs in life, is the best feeling. If you take away anything from reading this, it should be that no matter what struggles you’re facing in your life, they can always get better. If you are battling something within yourself, if you are unhappy, you can and will get better. Even if you need to seek help from others, be it from a friend, family or a professional, there is always a way to get better and come through the other side.


Canada: Muslim Mob Shouting “Kill The Jews” Attacks Pro-Israel Jews And Christians

This is so horrific. Despicable, disgusting, completely vile.

MidnightWatcher's Blogspot

The following is an email received by BCF from Calgary United With Israel. This sort of violent behavior from Muslims and their terror-sympathizing enablers is becoming increasingly typical all across the Western world …

Qur’an Sura 9:14, “Fight them, Allah will punish them by your hands and bring them to disgrace …”

Email via BCF: “Pro-Israel Jews and Christians were attacked by an angry mob yesterday at Calgary’s city hall. Video footage shows this clearly:

In addition to the males, 2 females were taken to the ground and kicked by a group of men. They sustained injuries. The crowd also chanted ‘kill the Jews’.” Read more.

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Stress and Decisions

I have always been a very anxious person. My default mode is usually slightly on edge if I am not being distracted by something, be it good TV, a good book, good company or good food. I struggle to not think about all the things I currently have to get done, or will have to get done in the future.  Ironically, I end up procrastinating quite a bit as distracting myself from all of the stress bubbling away in my brain manages to calm me down temporarily.  Really, the only way to resolve the stress is to tackle the challenge at hand.

Why am I like this? I ask myself this question all the time, constantly analysing myself to search for answers. I have come to know my personality over time, discovering that I score highly on the “Big Five” trait of Neuroticism, encompassing emotional instability and anxiety, among other things (follow this link for more information on the Big Five personality traits http://psychology.about.com/od/personalitydevelopment/a/bigfive.htm). So it appears that this is simply the way I am wired. But that does not mean that there is nothing I can do to deal with my anxiety. For the sake of my own sanity, I must work to overcome my tendency to be anxious, to find effective coping mechanisms.

From analysing myself, I have also come to realise that most of the things I worry about are things that are within my control, but that I have low confidence in my ability to overcome these challenges. For example, I have just managed to find an interesting project for my third year research project and had a Skype call this morning with my supervisor. He set me the task of writing a 4 page ‘mini proposal’ for the project, due on July 6th. My immediate thoughts were “Oh my goodness”, “How the hell am I going to get this done when I have a work placement starting on Monday full time?!” STRESS STRESS STRESS. You get the idea. The thing is that I always get my work done on time. Most of the time I do well with any piece of academic work, and this is well within my capabilities. I also work hard and efficiently once I get started, so I should be fully confident that I can successfully complete this piece of work. Yet I am stressed anyway. I know I am a pessimist a lot of the time, where I tend to use it as a protective mechanism to prevent me from being let down by others, so avoiding disappointment. But really with regards to myself, I should be optimistic so as to motivate myself to achieve, and reassure myself that things will be okay. This is something that I do in order to calm myself down, and it does work, at least long enough before the next thing comes along to cause me stress…

A specific thing which I find to be a big source of stress in my life is making decisions. I really struggle to make even the smallest and most trivial decisions on a daily basis, such as choosing where to go on a date, choosing where to sit in a restaurant and choosing what to order. I have realised that this stems from my fear of uncertainty, of the unknown. All of the possible options being available creates this sense of instability which I really do not like.  If I have no idea what a decision will bring, I would much rather let somebody else make the decision for me, moving the responsibility of decision-maker onto somebody else. I know that this is something I need to overcome, because being stressed about these decisions is really very silly. It reduces my enjoyment of going out, be it with my family, friends or on dates. While it makes sense to be stressed about university work, social occasions should be fun and relaxing. What I have decided to tell myself is that if I am to improve my quality of life, I need to learn to embrace the uncertainty. After all, we never truly know 100% what is going to happen as a result of any decision, or in general. We never know what will happen as soon as we step outside, close our eyes to go to sleep, or order a cocktail we have never heard of before. So people like me would truly benefit from going with the flow, and embracing the chaos that is life.

A saying that I really like is “you never know unless you try”. The worst that can happen with trying something new, giving something a go is that it doesn’t work out. And that actually can have a really positive impact, teaching you something about yourself and about whatever it is that didn’t work out for you.  Trying something new could work out amazingly well – you could enjoy that cocktail, going for a job opportunity could lead to bigger and better things, and agreeing to go on a date with someone you’re unsure about could lead to something beautiful. While I have had experiences where deciding to give something a go didn’t work out in the end, I still learnt a valuable lesson from it, and so I gained something from making that decision to try. I strongly believe that people should not regret their decisions. We all make mistakes and these are important parts of our lives. If one never makes mistakes, they don’t learn who they really are, what they want to do in life, what kind of person they want to be. There is no progress.  I feel that allowing myself to try new things with the confidence that whichever way it goes, it would be worth it, will free myself to make more decisions with ease. I also hope that positive thinking will help me experience less stress with everything I do, and I hope that those reading this will have gained something from reading this.